no say when you are stuck in a hole

people say things sometimes like "well, be with him" but really do we have any say in those issues? i say no. i have no control over how you feel and i honestly have very little over what i feel. I always feel something that you do not and i have no say in what happens next. guys want a girl to show interest but when a girl is interested and they guy only pretends to be how in the world should the girl know? how in the world would the girl know the guy doesnt want something, the girl just digs her self in to a hole and then when the guy tells her he love to flirt but thats all it is the girl is stuck in the hole.... alone...... and hurt that there is no one to help her out..... but even more so hurt that there is no one else in the hole with her. no one willing to be in the hole, willing to spend time with her and give her a shot at being more then the flirt.

hard to tell

sometimes if you are feeling kind of lonely it is hard to tell if you like a person or the idea of a person. recently i have been trying to convince myself that i like this guy because he likes me and it turns out i dont. i like that he likes me and i like that he is sweet to me, but you shouldnt have to convince yourself that someone is good for you. you should know. and if you doubt it, they probably are not.
im sorry if i "lead you on" but i am new at this and some times it is just hard to tell. i still want to be friends and talk but i cant pretend to feel something i dont.

never

i cant stop.

this is hard for me

it is way hard for me but i think i am working on moving on. im letting someone else in. if you cant be with me then i cant keep waiting. i cant keep thinking that no one will ever love me when there are people that might.

6 years.... its not easy to let go, but he wants a chance. ill give it a shot.

please tell me

you must not know how much your desisions affect me. you must not know all those tears are for you. you must not know how much you can hurt or help me.
so please, when you make important choices, please tell me.
today my tears were wasted because of you not keeping me informed.
i would tell you if i changed my life
please tell me

know

you didnt want me to know. but i do. i wish i didnt. but now that i do it is in the back of my head.
im sorry that i know now. really i have no real connection to you so idk y i care. but i know and i do care... a lot.

just thought you'd like to know that i know

withdraw

I am Jill.... i am a perfectionist. getting a W is iffy to me. i am convincing myself this is good.