people need people

i am a helper. i try to help everyone. but sometimes there are problems that people cant help you fix. sometimes the only thing you can do for someone is say im here if you need to talk. that is hard for me cause like i said im a helper. i guess what im trying to say is even if you dont know what to say to someone, and you cant help them, people just need people to be there with them. through thick and thin even if you just sit next to someone you are there and in a way i guess that helps

give it up

i was wrong, i have not moved on. you know what though? i dont need to. people choose if they are happy. right now i am happy. people should not force themselves to feel (or in my cause not feel) something they don't (or do). Im growing, I'm learning, and I'm happy about it all.

my life

this is my life and i shall do things my way. if something makes me happy i will keep it. way would you choose to be depressed. worst feeling in the world if you ask me

happy

someone will make me happy. for now i am healing

i'm worth dying for

kate had me read something and it was all about how i am a creation of god and he loves me. so so what if i dont have a boy and so what if boys just view me a friend. i am good enough for god and that is a big huge deal. and yeah i knew that all along but reading this little thing made me remember. so yeah i love you but if you are not willing to fight for me and know who i am inside then your not really worth my time.
i just wish that you would fight to know me cause i still do think we would be great. until that day that you or someone else loves me, i have god and he does not care about my imperfections he loves me anyway.

wish and wait

every morning and every night
every eyelash and every star
i always make the same wish
you said they never come true
but I'm holding out hope
hope that one day all my wishes will be enough
and you will see me
not just me but beyond me
the real me


<3

the forgotten

i talked to you today
i musta forgotten about how much you mean to me
i musta forgotten how you make me smile
i dont remember forgetting
but it had to have happened
i know it did because when i talked to you
when i pictured your face
it all came rushing back

suddenly i thought of you and i knew
i knew everything i had felt
everything i had seen in you
everything you were to me
i miss you but those feelings are gone

i have grown and your still young
so i miss you but i can never go back there.
ill never get those feelings back

A day with mom

so on Saturday my mom and i took a short trip to UC to buy my books. we parked at a meter and off we went.
1st stop was the book store. because it was my first quarter i decided to actually go to the really book store not the cheaper off campus store. anyway we went to get the books and after spending a whole bunch of money on books required for my 18 credit hours. then we carried the 500 pounds of books up to the car and left them for step 2 of the journey.
2nd stop was lunch. we went to the panera under my apartments. i had a good time. and we just talked. it is odd to think that all summer i was with her and now that she is back at school and i am getting ready to move down there i miss spending time with her. just going to lunch and shopping and stuff. which brings up to......
3rd and final part of the day was shopping at urban outfitters across the street. it was a really cool store and some of the stuff was way expensive, but in the lower floor they had some really nice sale stuff. i didn't get anything but i will be going back to get my rug for my room. then we had to stop by kenwood and go to old navy and get a gift for my cousin.

anyway..... happy birthday jen.