my life as a sitcom

on tv shows often when the person is having a bad day they are walking in the rain next to a road, with no warning a car (usally a big truck) drives by and a wave of water splashes all over the person who is already haveing a crapy day.
today, that was me. then i was forced to go to class dripping wet.
yeah the party on sat. is pretty much keeping me going this week. it is a long hard week.
tomorrow i have 2 presentations
wednesday i have an exam that i am pretty freaked out about (sex)
after that it is just waiting

girls

i'm not sure i know how to talk to girls. i have grown up talking to guys (my brother) and when girls wanna talk i'm not sure that i use the right words. i think i often make them mad when i dont necessarily mean to.....
i also have never lived in a house with a girl. i dont think i'm good at that either.

your second choice

you just told me your news. it is so great. its a great school and i know that you wanted to go there. but here i am at your second choice. that city is a long way from here, this year really may be the last time we hang out like this. im so happy for you, or i should be. but im selfish and while i know i should be happy im actually a little sad. i actually kinda hoped you would end up here, with me.
here i am your second choice at the school that was your second choice.
but your to good for seconds you get your first pick. in girls, in schools, in life.
for now i will savor the time i get to be close to you, but know that when you go your taking a bit of my heart with you.

happy

i understand that i may not be the one to do it but i want you to be happy. so if in fact she makes you happy then i am going to try my very hardest to be happy for you, i don't time it will be that hard for me, i love you and i want whatever is best for you because i think you deserve the best.
this is not only for the guys, i think to often people come to me for advice but i can not always tell how someone makes you feel. all i want is for you to be happy and for someone to love you as much as someone should.

a bruised apple

tonight i dropped the Fuji apple and i think it got kinda bruised it. i only did it cause i was sad and he was not helping. i then turned to the good old gala apple but it was already taken by some other shopper. so instead tonight i found an apple i had only seen once but it looked so good. so i hung on to it for awhile. and now i feel closer to the gala for being there even though it was so far away and honestly i feel distant from the fuji one cause it got so bruised.
one day ill stop talking about apples and just tell the real story. lol

Apples

sometimes you think to yourself i would love to eat an apple. (well you might not think that really but lets pretend) anyway you think you want an apple and add it to the list of things you would really like to get next time you have time go to the store. you have always wanted the Granny Smith kind and you have gotten them once or twice, but this time you go to the store and you see these other kinds, the 3 that catch you eye are (of course) the granny smith (cause it is routine) the Gala (because you have seen them there but never wanted to pay that much and risk it going bad) and the Fuji (which really you have never noticed).... so in the end which apple would you buy? i mean really you cant have all three.... right? right! you need to pick an apple and stick with it.
soooo do you have any idea of why i would write this? cause it means something i swear

people need people

i am a helper. i try to help everyone. but sometimes there are problems that people cant help you fix. sometimes the only thing you can do for someone is say im here if you need to talk. that is hard for me cause like i said im a helper. i guess what im trying to say is even if you dont know what to say to someone, and you cant help them, people just need people to be there with them. through thick and thin even if you just sit next to someone you are there and in a way i guess that helps